The topic of today's blog post is "fireworks guy". We all know him, and there's one in every neighborhood. He's around in the summer, and sometimes in warmer climates he's a year-round fixture on the landscape. I bring this up now because this is the weekend he is most prominent.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love going down to Ohio and Indiana and loading up on lots of the good stuff this time of the year. I enjoy them as much as the next red-blooded American male. There is however this thing called "life" and "reality" that the majority of us exist in. Thus, fireworks are a fun thing we do once a year. For "fireworks guy", this is life.
So back to the man in question. You know the guy who always has the "stash" at his house? You know the tool who for the week leading up to the Fourth of July is out testing all his fireworks from the stash he has continually amassed all year long for this one weekend. He tests to make sure he has "good" batch, you know, this stuff is for real son. On the actual weekend you can find "fireworks guy" bumping around with roman candles strapped around him like plastic explosives. He's rocking a backpack loaded down with M-80's and 1/2 sticks of dynomite. Ironically, he's also lugging around a first aid pack so he can immediatly rush to the first person who injures themselves to remind them "just how dangerous and serious these things are!"
So now you are seeing the picture, and you're going through your mental roladex of people you know and are finding a few who fit the profile. So let me narrow it down more. "Fireworks guy" usually always rocks a beater or a ratty cut-off. Now to examine the dude's lettuce (hair). You can count on him to have sport a rat-tail with red, white and blue hairties holding it together. "Fireworks guy" has taken the whole week of the Fourth off from his job...driving the ice cream truck around town.