You ever have the feeling like your stuck in a box on a social level? One where you really have a lot to say about a whole lot of things. You have tons of friends you hang out with, but none you quite feel is tight enough for getting some of the real shit of your chest? You don't trust some and you don't think the others really give a rat's ass, can't relate, OR don't know you well enough/you don't know them well enough?
Kinda where I'm at right now. The last three months has brought about a whole slue of opinons and topics for me on life, people, careers and loads more. Some of it fairly close to the heart. Specifically amongst my female friends, as some stuff I severely want an opinion/insight from that side of the aisle.
I guess part of it is that after a 4.5 year relationship, and you're out on your own again, I'm finding that you go through a really deep, thorough self personality/image exam. Who am I? Why do people hang out with me? How does the world see me? What first impressions do I give off? What am I good at? What's attractive about me and what isn't? These are all things that for quite a while you were assured of that all of a sudden you're not too trusting with. It's a very alien thing, it's like being without your cell phone and far away from home. You feel as though something is missing/something is vulnerable. I'm sure people who are/have been fired from their jobs feel the same way in a sense.
We all like to know where we stand and why (and sometimes we don't in certain situations). I don't mean to go on and on, but I need to vent occassionally. If you've got a similar experience, feel free to share it. Everyone has had and will have these situations. The more we share, the more people can learn about dealing with them.